Friended! In A Different Way
by Anthony Staffenhagen
Summary: In the far off future, the Y Universe's version of Ronnie Anne tells the story of how she met Sid to her grandchildren. Believe me when I say it is quite different from how it happened with the real Ronnie Anne and Sid.
1. Chapter 1

The year is 20YY. Ronnie Anne is now an elderly woman and has two grand kids.

The three of them had been planing a vacation for two years. So, on the Summer day when they could finally begin this trip, they all took a ride together ON THE JACKSON PARK EXPRESS. When Ronnie Anne had told her grand kids that they could pick anywhere in the world and she would take them there, they responded by saying "We wanna see **THE BIGGEST BALL OF TWINE IN MINNESOTA!**"

The ride was an aggravatingly long and boring one. The two kids were beginning to demand entertainment. With nothing else to do, the brother and sister that had their grandma sitting between them started to pick on each other. He slapped her, she slapped back, they began to continue slapping repeatedly while screaming and calling each other names. Their grandmother didn't want them to hurt each other or make a scene, so Ronnie Anne knew she had to give them something to occupy their time.

"Would either of you like to hear a story from my childhood?" Both kids groaned at this suggestion. Each of them saw the 2010's as a very dull decade and there was no way anything interesting happened during it. "It's about Great Aunt Sid." This new information was all it took for the kids to change their mind. They always loved their grandmother's friend so much that they called her their great aunt despite not being related to her at all.

"Does it involve her punching her stupid sister in the crotch?" Ronnie Anne's grandson over excitedly asked.

"Does it involve a rocket launcher?" the granddaughter asked much more calmly.

"Just listen and find out for yourselves. I promise you that nothing in this story is made up to make you like it more. It is all the complete truth."

**Friended! In A Different Way**

There are way too many things from back then that I can barely remember. It's just been too long. However, this one very important day is one that I'll never forget. I had just got done video chatting with my good friend Lincoln and...Whoa. I haven't thought about him in a long time. I wish the two of us hadn't lost touch. When we get home, I should really give him a call, see how him and his husband are doing.

"TELL US THE STORY!"

Sorry, got sidetracked. Won't happen again. Anyway, I had just finished listening to him talk about how his sisters and niece are annoying and he misses his dead brother or something when I put my helmet and other mandatory safety equipment on and started skateboarding back home. I'll bet you kids can't even picture me on a skateboard, but I used to be really good at it. I wish I could remember what all the cool tricks I used to be able to do were called.

On my way back to the apartment, I boarded past some girl who looked about the same age as me. She was wearing a brown and white safari outfit and I had noticed she was using an umbrella. As you've probably figured out by now, it was Great Aunt Sid. It was far from the weirdest thing I had ever seen, but I oddly couldn't get my mind off the fact she was using an umbrella when it wasn't raining. So after a few minutes, I turned around and luckily enough, she was still there.

"Alright, it's killing me. Why are you using an umbrella on a bright and sunny day?" I asked her.

"That's exactly why." she responded. "It's because of the sunlight." That was such an obvious answer, I felt really stupid for not thinking of it. But I'm glad I was stupid. If I hadn't been, I wouldn't have turned around, and I wouldn't have met my best friend until later that same day. I know that makes me sound like I love her too much, but I do. "Hey, can I try your skateboard?" she suddenly said to me, not noticing how much of an out of nowhere subject change it was. I said "Sure."

"Oh, wait. I don't have any safety equipment." she said before adding "But that's okay, right? Safety is for losers."

I was shocked to my very core by what she had said. "Goodness, no!" I shouted. "How could you even say something so horrible? Please, borrow my safety equipment. One of us could have grandchildren some day and be telling them about this very event. We need to set a good example for them, Sid - - I mean, person who's name I don't know yet."

"But shouldn't this be something you'd have no reason to think you'd remember because, from your point of view at this time, it's just you talking to some random person you're not expecting to ever see again?"

"Yes. And by now, my grand kids have figured out that I lied when I said everything would be true. But wearing safety equipment is still very important."

Alright, I'll be honest. I only gave her my helmet. But I'm not lying when I say I told her she should've put her umbrella down. Completely ignoring that suggestion, she put my helmet on with one hand and enthusiastically jumped onto my skateboard. She just stood on it motionless for a brief moment, but then it started to slowly roll backwards. "Is it supposed to do that?" she asked. I don't think she knew we were on a hill because she started screaming once the board was rolling down it.

Concerned about this innocent person's safety, much more so than my skateboard, I swear, I ran after her to save her. It was much harder than it sounds because the skateboard was much faster than me. I kept telling her she should jump off, but she just kept standing on the board as if she was required to. She must've either not heard me or was too paralyzed by fear. I wasn't able to get to her in time before she crashed into...something. I can't remember what it was. Let's just say it was a fruit stand. When I helped her up, she was covered with watermelon, I guess. Miraculously, she never dropped her umbrella.

"Are you alright?" I asked her, not my skateboard. That one's actually true.

"I'm perfect!" she said back.

"I'm guessing you're not much of a skater."

"Today marks the first day I've ever touched a skateboard." she replied, making me chuckle. "But me and my family just moved here today and I wanna try every new thing I can!" she shouted with excitement while holding her fist in the air. I didn't understand what moving to a new city had to do with trying out things she could've done when she still lived somewhere else, but her happy attitude won me over and I didn't want to possibly bring her down by asking her about that and maybe making her feel stupid.

The two of us started chatting and it went on for much longer than I expected. So long in fact, we even sat down at a bench. "So, where are you from?" I asked.

"Forks, Washington."

"What's that?" I asked, not noticing how rude it sounded.

Sid rolled her eyes and then begrudgingly changed her answer to "Seattle." I didn't find this out until later, but she always hated how Seattle is more well known than the rest of Washington. I didn't really get what the big deal was, but I always figured maybe I would if I had grown up there too. "But after it got destroyed, we moved to Unova for a few years, and now we live here because my mom bought a zoo. She also gave me an after school job at it." she continued.

"Oh. Is that why you're dressed like this?"

"Yeah. I haven't actually started working there yet, but I wanna start preparing, you know?" I actually had no clue what she meant, but I nodded anyway. "You should've seen my little sister's face when my mom said she couldn't have a job there too. She was so jealous!"

"Tell her I can relate. I can't tell you how many times my brother got to do something and I wanted to too but I couldn't because I was too young."

"Oh, it doesn't have anything to do with her age. It's 'cause she gets a job at the glart with our dad. Speaking of which, what the heck is a glart?"

"That's what we call the subway. It stands for 'Great Lakes Area Rapid Transit.'" I explained to her.

"Ohhhhhh! That makes much more sense than what the internet told me it was. It said it meant a unicorn's fart that's made of glitter." Again, what she said made me laugh. "But enough about my family. Tell me about yours."

"Well, mine's a bit more complicated than yours. Me, my brother , and my mom live in an apartment with my cousins, their parents, and our grandparents."

"Wow. That's quite a family you got there. What about your dad? Unless...that's like...a so subject. My grandma's always telling me I'm too nosy."

"Nah, it's cool. He's..." Oh crap, where was he at the time? Uhh...I feel like it had something to do with - - No, that's not it. I know it was something good and important, I just can't for the life of me put my finger on it. Hhhm. Let's just say he was colonizing Mars.

"Whoa, your dad's an astronaut?" Sid said, but not really. "That's a much cooler job than the one my dad has."

"Yeah. Well, I should probably be getting home now. Since you're livin' here, maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah, you probably will. Wanna get my number?"

"Sure. Give me your phone and I'll give you mine." You probably don't get what this part is about, kids. Back in my day, a lot of people carried around these things called phones and we used them for pretty much everything. Numbers were what people used to use for counting before they got replaced with the far superior system we have today. So anyway, we gave each other our phone numbers and I skated off. As you know, I never saw her ever again.

**The End**

Just kidding. This story's not even close to over.


	2. Chapter 2

I got back to my place later that day.  
I looked up from my phone as I got to the entrance, and spotted a very familiar looking umbrella on the front steps.

Take a guess who was sitting on the steps and holding it. That's right!

"Sid?" I exclaimed, surprised to see her again so soon.

"What are the chances?!" she yelled while standing up. "You're trying to get the same apartment that my parents are?! So much for us being friends, I guess, 'cause now we gotta compete with each other for the place we wanna spend our lives. Maybe if I bite you, I'll be able to..." At the time, I didn't know why she thought biting me would help with anything and I would've asked her, but I had to let her in on her misconception.

"Stop. I'm not trying to get this place. I already live here."

"Oh. Then forget everything I just said. This would mean we get to live together! Wouldn't that be awesome?!" Man, recreating all the yelling she did is really hurting my throat. Either of you kids got a lozenge by any chance? No? Okay then, back to the story.

"Well, I don't know about that. We did just meet after all and..." I said before getting cut off.

Sid must've had her mind on something else because she interrupted me by saying, "I'm gonna run inside and tell everybody the good news!"  
I wasn't there for this next part and she never told me, so I'm gonna try to guess what must've happened.  
I feel I know the Changs well enough that it'll probably be decently accurate. "Mom! Dad! Lame sister." she said to get her family's attention after running into the building. "There's this person I was hanging out with earlier and apparently this is her place! Can we please please please please please buy it?! Yes, I know 'buy it's' not the right terminology. It just came out."

Sid's parents looked down at her smiling face. As their daughter, her joy always charmed them much more than it did me that day. Not wanting to ruin it for her, they couldn't find the words for how to tell her the bad news they had.

Her sister Adelaide on the other hand, didn't share that sentiment. "Mommy and Daddy said they're not even gonna try to buy it 'cause the other people trying to get it are friends with the guy in charge, so he's gonna let them have it." she said, her parents wishing she hadn't.

"What?! He can't do that!" Sid screamed, suddenly angry. "He should give it to whoever makes the highest offer, not just whoever he happens to be friends with." Sid heard herself out loud and it made her feel like she was being a hypocrite. Her pick for who should get the apartment was based solely on someone being friend's with someone else. If she could make a choice for that reason, why couldn't the owner of the building?

"Actually, never mind." she said, now depressed. "Let's just go." Sid turned around and started to walk to the front door with Adelaide following her until their father stopped them.

"We don't all have to leave yet. You can stay here with that new friend of yours for a while if you want." Mr. Chang said.

Sid smiled. "Then in that case..." she began to say in response before her sister interrupted her.

"Wouldn't staying here make you sad because it would remind you of what could've been?" With a hint of sarcasm, Adelaide asked this in an attempt to make Sid sad again. What a little brat she used to be. Unfortunately, it worked.

This was when I came in and I could tell the frown that Sid's mouth had formed must have meant that her family couldn't get the apartment for one reason or another. I suppose there's plenty of other things that could've made her sad, but that seemed like the most likely one by far. "Rip the dream, Ronnie Anne." she said to me as she walked past me to head outside. "The owner of the building has some friends who are trying to get the apartment, so obviously they're gonna get it."

Kids, please don't ever ever tell Great Aunt Sid I said this, but I didn't actually like her that much at first. I didn't dislike her by any means, but I didn't love her right away like she seemed to think I did. Because of this, I probably wouldn't have done anything about this problem of hers if it weren't for the fact something about her made me feel sympathetic in a way I usually wouldn't for people I had just met. I don't mean to sound narcissistic, but I think it might've been because I liked how much she liked me. "Don't worry. I can easily get the owner to want to pick you guys instead." I assured her and her family. Sid had switched emotions really fast a lot of times in this moment and I could tell it was starting to get overwhelming for her. She was really good at it, but it was obvious to me that she was trying to hold in tears of joy.

"How is that?" Mrs. Chang asked me.

"The owner of the building is my abuela. That's Spanish for 'grandma,' just in case any of you didn't know that." All of the Changs looked at me like I had just said that a tratgorger was riding on an apple stepped juggler in May on top of a DVD mountain last week. Good thing nobody from the past is listening to me tell this story. They wouldn't know what that slang means. Not understanding why they were looking at me the way they were, I said "What?"

"The owner of the building is a man." Sid's mom answered.

Sid had said a lot of weird and confusing stuff that day and now her mom had joined in on it too. I went to your great great grandmother's bedroom to ask her about this. This was when I learned that she never actually owned the building, she just managed it. This felt like something I should've already known. With so many family members living in the same place, it was hard to pay attention to everything about all of them. I had just never realized that until then.

I went back downstairs and told the Changs that I now knew that the building was owned by a Mr. Pierre Uhnn and that who got to move in was his decision. "I don't have any clue how, but I'm gonna try to find a way to get him to pick you." Sid's huge eyes got even bigger and her jaw dropped in the form of a smile. She then suddenly hugged me and I could feel tears of joy bouncing off her face. "Whoa, whoa! Calm down." I said to her, also smiling about all this.

I can tell you kids are starting to think this is cheesy and you don't wanna listen to it anymore. Just hear me out for a bit longer and it'll get better. Trust me, I'm your abuela.

"Thank you so much for doing this." Sid said after letting me go. "If you're successful at pulling it off, I'm gonna owe you big time! If you want, I'll bite you."

"Bite me?" I thought to myself in confusion. "Umm...no thanks." I said out loud. "You don't need to do anything for me. I'm happy to help."

The Changs all grabbed their umbrellas and began to leave. I shot Sid a look that said that I had noticed they seem to really like using umbrellas and that I was beginning to think people from Seattle forget that they don't always need them because they're so used to it raining. She then looked at me in a way that told me constant rain in Seattle is just a misconception people who have never been there have.

This next part isn't really relevant to the story, but you need to hear it. A few minutes later, my cousin Carlota came in with an Easter basket on her head. She never gave anyone any proof, but she claims that she had just gotten done having lunch with Chris Pratt and Shadow the Hedgehog. Nobody ever believed her, but she's never gone back on her word that it really happened or explained what was with the Easter basket.


	3. Chapter 3

I very quickly lost interest in helping Sid get the apartment and I was starting to regret ever deciding to in the first place. Just thinking about it was making me cringe. Luckily, no one else knew I did it.

I woke up the next morning and checked my phone. I had gotten tons and tons of text messages from Sid asking me about my plan to help her get the place. This was when I started to get some bad vibes from this girl. We had known each other for less than 24 hours and yet here she was harassing me about something I had barely talked to her about doing. She initially seemed like a fun person to be around, but now I wasn't sure if I wanted her anywhere near me. Something about her seemed...off.

I went down to the dining room both to eat breakfast and to ask for help figuring out what to do about my newly found problem. I sat at the table across from my mother, bless her soul, and she was drinking from her comedically gigantic coffee cup just like she did every morning. "What's wrong, Ronnie Anne?" As my mother, she could tell when something was bothering me with a single glance.

I asked her "Did you see those people that came to look at the vacant apartment yesterday, the Changs?"

"How could I not? I come home from a stressful day at the hospital to be greeted by four strangers staring at me nonstop for some reason."

"Sorry to hear they did that."

"It's alright. Let's focus on your problem."

"The older daughter in that family really wants to be my friend and she doesn't realize she's trying way too hard, if you know what I mean. I'm starting to feel like I have a stalker. What should I do?"

My mother took a sip of coffee with concern in her eyes and then said "You should ask her if she's a fan of The Loud House."

"Why?" I asked.

"If she is, that's probably why she likes you so much." That made perfect sense and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it myself. I was also a little surprised I had never gotten a crazy fan like this before.

I sent Sid a text message and, much too quickly, she sent me one back that said she had only ever seen one episode. When I told her I used to be on the show, she made it perfectly clear to me that she didn't know that. "We can scratch that idea, Mom."

My mother opened her mouth to say something but her attention was taken away from our little conversation when my brother walked in. "Mom, is there supposed to be a little red tent on the front stoop with someone sleeping in it? he asked.

"I'm pretty sure there isn't." my mother answered sarcastically with an eyebrow up.

It took no time for me to figure out who was probably in that tent. Things were starting to get scary. What Sid had been doing up to this point was one thing, but now she had possibly come to my home without anyone's permission while we were all asleep. I angrily marched outside and my eyes were met with the tent Bobby was talking about. I carefully unzipped the tent so I wouldn't wake Sid up. It might have been quiet enough that it wouldn't have woken her anyway, but there was no way I was going to risk it. I had no idea what to expect out of that girl. Once the tent was eventually open enough, I peeked inside. To my surprise, Sid wasn't in there. It was her sister.

Without even thinking about it, I knew that I had to wake her up and ask her why she was here. Annoyingly, she was the hardest person to wake up I have ever met. No matter what I tried, she would stay asleep. Out of ideas, I put her on my shoulder so I could bring her inside. On the way into the building, there was some really odd shining light coming from behind me. I tried to see what it was, but every time I turned around, it moved. I quickly gave up on that and just went inside. Then the shining was gone. I'll explain what it was soon.

When my cousin Carlino saw me, he looked at me the same way he looked at someone whenever they did something he considered heroic. I don't think he understood what I was doing.

I laid Adelaide down on the couch and said "Does anybody know a way to wake this kid up?"

"What have you tried?" Carlino asked me.

"Every polite method I could think of. I don't want to wake her up in a rude way."

"Do you mind if _I_ use a rude way?"

"Umm..." He's always told people this isn't true, but I know for a fact that Carlino woke Adelaide up by throwing one of his toy trains at her.

"Ow!" she shouted while sitting up. "Who did that? How did I get in here?" she asked while rubbing her forehead.

"I brought you in. Now why were you in that tent outside? Do your parents know you're here?"

"They don't know anything. I am gonna be in so **so** much trouble later, but I don't care. Anything to get Sid to shut up."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"She won't stop crying about how much she wanted to live here. So I'm gonna scare the other peoples who wanna buy it away so that my mommy and daddy can get it."

The sound of her idea almost made me burst out laughing, but I held it in because I didn't want to hurt a little girl's feelings. There was no doubt in my mind that whatever she was planning wouldn't work, but I told her she could give it a try because I just had to see it. I had even less doubt that it would be adorable. It sounded like she was gonna try to prank them and I couldn't say no to that.

I led her upstairs to the room she could try out her little idea and said "How long were you waiting outside for?"

"Way too long. I would've just come in, but I can't unless someone lets me."

"Because your parents raised you too good?"

"Sure, let's go with that."

I later realized I had asked a dumb question. If her parents had raised her that well, she never would have come to my place without their permission in the first place. "What's your name, again? Abby?"

"Adelaide."

"Right. Sorry."

Adelaide told me that she had brought almost everything she needed and it was in a gym bag in her tent. She asked me to go get it for her, which I happily agreed to do. I really got the feeling I shouldn't have looked in the bag, but I couldn't resist. In my defense, I only took a quick peek. I saw a plastic teacup and a water bottle with some red liquid I could've sworn was blood. Naturally, this made me scream and drop the bag. "That's gotta be fake blood. It **_has_** to be." I said out of fear.

I was not in the denial stage for long.

I had done pranks with fake blood before, so I knew what it looked like. This blood was real.

I gulped and zipped the bag back up. So many thoughts rushed through my mind. What was up with this family? Where did a little girl get blood? What on Earth was she planning on doing with it? No matter what the answers were, I was beginning to feel that it was time to call the cops on these crazy people. But then again, was it? Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I just wasn't understanding their Washingtonian culture. Or maybe I was completely right and we needed to get a restraining order. How was I supposed to know for sure?

I ran back inside. I was looking for an adult who could help me get my head straight on what the right thing to do was. Unfortunately, the first person I came across was Adelaide. Before I could say anything to her, she saw the gym bag in my hands and happily took it from me. "STOP!" I shouted.

She ignored me.


	4. Chapter 4

There Adelaide was, in the closet of the vacant apartment's living room. With the door completely closed, she stood in the dark and waited for the sound of someone walking in. "Believe me, you do NOT want to go in there!" she heard me yell from the hallway.

"If this scary thing that's supposedly in there is so bad, why aren't you telling us what it is?" the man who wanted the apartment asked me. Before I got a chance to answer, the man's wife opened the door and they stepped inside. I was worried they would immediately scream and run out, but all I heard from them was grunts of disgust. I stepped into the living room and saw a trashed room. From memory, what I think Adelaide did was glue the window open so you had to listen to the train pass by and paint the walls to make them look ripped up.

This was much more harmless than what I was expecting. I never exactly knew what I was expecting, but still. Either way, it got me thinking this meant Adelaide had that suspicious liquid seemingly for no reason. My guess was she was saving that for a back-up plan. I hoped this first plan of hers would work so that she wouldn't do whatever the back-up plan was.

The husband of the visiting couple seemed happy enough with what he saw. He must've been thinking that the problems with the room were easy enough to fix that they could still move in. His wife on the other hand, looked annoyed. I could tell she wanted to keep looking elsewhere for somewhere to live. "I can see you two aren't seeing eye to eye here. Why don't you go talk it over out in the hallway?" I said.

The couple thought it was weird that I suggested this, but I didn't care. I had to get them out of there. So, I pushed them out and locked the door. "You can come out of the closet. They're gone." I said to Adelaide.

"Did it work? Do they not wanna buy it anymore?" she asked.

"No." I answered. "And you don't buy an..."

"Then it's time for Plan C." Yes, that's actually what she said. She didn't know that the second letter of the alphabet is B.

"And what is that plan exactly?" I asked her.

"I'm gonna drink my favorite drink." she explained. "But in like, a scary way. Know what I mean?"

I did not know what she meant at all. But on that note, I had figured she was talking about the red liquid I had found and that it must've actually not been blood after all like I had thought it was. Wanting to see what Adelaide was gonna do, I told her that I would distract our visitors while she set up her prank. This was when I got a video chat request from Sid, which I accepted. I assumed she was looking for Adelaide.

"Hey, Ronnie Anne." she greeted from her hotel room. "How's getting me the apartment going?"

I was annoyed that she had asked me that, but I was still going to be polite and answer. "Your sister was just about to try to somehow scare the other people away by drinking something."

"What are you talking about? That's impossible. She's been here in bed all day." Sid pulled the blanket off one of the hotel room beds, revealing two basketballs underneath. "Or not."

"That's not two basketballs. It's me. Your eyesight just went bad while you were sleeping last night." Adelaide said to try to keep herself seeming innocent, which she was massively failing at.

"Sis, are you gonna scare those people in the way that I think you are?" Sid asked, which made Adelaide give up on trying to defend herself.

"Oh yeah!"

"Between that and the fact you ran away, you're gonna be in so much trouble when Mom and Dad find out." Sid was completely right. But that wasn't gonna stop her from letting Adelaide do what she had planned. In fact, it's exactly why she continued with "Don't do it 'til I get over there. I wanna see it."

"Alright, change of plans." I said after letting Sid know we'd wait for her and hanging up the phone. "Your sister will distract them while we set it up together."

"Thanks. It's really easy actually. We just gotta put up my little table and fill my teapot with..."

"That red stuff from your water bottle?"

"Yeah."

"What is that anyway? Tomato juice? Fruit punch?"

"It's blood." Obviously she only called it that so she could get into character. It was really bugging me not knowing what it really was, but I chose to respect her choice to be a method actor.

* * *

A little while later, the people who wanted the apartment finally got their chance to check it out again. This time, they walked into a very dark living room while me and Sid watched from the hallway. The two adults saw Adelaide sitting at her little princess tea party table and staring at them with big wide eyes and a frown. "Hello." she said to them in a monotone voice. "Would either of you like some...**_blood_**?" she asked before pouring some of the red liquid from her teapot into a teacup and then taking a sip of it. "Ah! That is _gooood_ blood!"

"Ummm...Little girl, do you live here?" the man asked.

"Not yet, I don't." Adelaide answered. She then threw her cup on the ground, shattering it and staining the floor with the red liquid. "But if you two get in the way of that by buying it, I am gonna have to listen to my sucky sister Sid whine about it for the rest of my life! And that will all be your fault!" Adelaide threateningly pointed at the couple and they took a step back away from her.

"Tha...that doesn't matter." the wife nervously stated. "Wha...what could you poss...possibly do about it?"

"If you do not run far far away from here and promise to never come back, you'll be getting what I always give to HUMANS who annoy me." Adelaide opened her mouth and two sharp fangs retracted down from her upper gums. This naturally made the couple scream. She then looked up at them and said "That's right. I'm a vampire!"

Then the husband and wife ran out of the building while screaming and none of us ever saw them again.

"There ya' go, Sid. We'll get to live here now." Adelaide proudly said as her sister and I ran into the room and turned the lights on.

"That was a great prank. How did you come up with it? Can I see your fangs?" I asked Adelaide. After she nodded and opened her mouth, I crouched down to her height. "Whoa! They look so real!" I commented while getting a close-up look at her teeth.

"They are real." Sid stated.

Shocked, I stood back up and looked at Sid with an expression of confusion on my face. Then she opened her mouth and showed me that she also had fangs. I quickly concluded that they must be pranking me too. I started laughing at it, but neither of them could understand why. "Oh my god. Are you telling the truth?" Sid nodded her head up and down. I'm not gonna let you kids here the S-word I said at that moment, so I'm gonna pretend what I said was "Holy stuff!"

"Did you know that phrase was invented by a vampire? It's 'cause to us, everything holy is bad."

"Up until just now, I didn't even know vampires were real!"

"Well, now that you know, I bet you have a lot of questions." said Adelaide.

You bet I did! In fact, I had so many I couldn't even ask any because I had no idea where to start. "This explains a lot, actually." I said. "It's why you guys kept using umbrellas, 'cause the sunlight kills you, right?" I didn't actually accept their vampirism as quickly as quickly as I'm making it sound. I still found it crazy and hard to believe for a few more minutes, I just don't wanna bore you by not getting to the point.

"Actually..." Sid said as she grabbed her sister's hand and pulled her over to the open window. When the sunlight hit them, it made their skin sparkle. This also explained what the shining light I saw when I was bringing Adelaide inside was. "We just don't like people staring at us all the time and having to explain why our skin does this." Sid explained.

"Oh, speaking of that, my mom said you were staring at her when she got home from work. What was that about?"

"She had blood stains all over her clothes and we hadn't had lunch yet." clarified Sid, which confirmed for me that their parents were vampires as well.

I still wasn't completely convinced. None of this felt real. I needed a more legitimate piece of proof, something the Changs couldn't fake. I used my phone to take a selfie of the three of us, but neither of them showed up in the picture.

"The same thing happens to us with mirrors." Adelaide said because she didn't know I already knew that.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! This is insane!" I shouted. "Sid, why didn't you...?" I was going to ask her why she kept this a secret from me. But at that moment, I came up with a possible answer that I was sure was the right one.

"Why didn't I what?" Sid asked, wondering why I had stopped speaking.

"Wait a second." I said.

"Why didn't I wait a second? Because you never asked me to." said Sid.

"Now I know why you haven't been leaving me alone." Sid didn't understand why I said this. She was **that** oblivious to the fact I hadn't been enjoying her company. What a maroon she was in her youth. "You don't wanna be my friend. You just wanna bite my neck because you think I look tasty!"

"WHAT?! No, it's not like that. It's not like that at all." said Sid with me not believing her and running into the hallway.

She chased me downstairs with Adelaide slowly following behind. "Quick! Do we have any wooden stakes anywhere?" I asked my mother.

"Why?" she asked as the Chang sisters got close to me.

"BECAUSE THEY'RE VAMPIRES!"

My mother gasped out of surprise as Bobby came in while carrying a bag of garlic. "Give me that!" I shouted as I took it from him. I ripped it open and started throwing cloves of garlic at the Chang sisters. They panicked, but were still able to dodge every single one as if their lives depended on it (because they did).

They were both clearly too good at dodging garlic, but I was able to get them outside. Now that they were no longer welcome in my home, they couldn't come back in. It was as if there was an invisible wall in the doorway. This was when I learned that vampires are physically incapable of going into someone else's home unless they're invited.

Sid looked at me from outside with a face I will never forget. I never saw anyone look more sad and upset than she did then and no one has ever beaten her record at it. It was a face that said to me I was misunderstanding her and that I should let her back in. However, at the time, I was not convinced that's how she was genuinely feeling. I turned my back to her and walked away, so I could do some research online about what the easiest way to kill a vampire is.

To this day, I have always regretted not giving Sid a chance to talk.


	5. Chapter 5

When I tried to get some sleep that night, I kept having nightmares. This came as no surprise to me. That afternoon, I thought I'd discovered that the girl trying to be my friend was actually a monster that wanted to eat me. I would have a scary dream about Sid, wake up, then go back to sleep a few minutes later and have another one. They were all a little different from each other, with one common theme: Sid trying to bite me so I would turn into a vampire because the dream version of her was an evil minion of, as she put it, 'Lord Dracula.'

Ironically, it was these dreams that made me start to consider that I may have been wrong about her. She never did anything like what I saw in my nightmares. I was under the impression that she was only pretending to want to be friends with me, but I realized she had nothing to gain from doing that. If all she wanted was to bite me, why wouldn't she just do it? Why try to gain my trust first?

The last dream I had that night was one where me and Sid played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 and she seemed like a genuinely nice person. That seemed like a much more likely scenario for the two of us to be in, rather than me having to ram a piece of wood into her heart to defend myself.

I had to apologize to her.

Oh, her sister too. And I guess their parents as well even though I didn't exactly do anything specifically to them.

The only problem was I had already convinced my familia that the Changs were evil monsters who we needed to kill. I was worried that if I told them I had changed my mind, they'd probably not believe me and think one of the Changs had hypnotized me. "That's something vampires can do, right?" I asked myself. And when I made the poor choice to tell them about my change of heart and that I wanted to make up with the Changs, things went exactly as I expected. Almost everyone thought I was hypnotized and locked me in my room.

The only one who was on my side was my mother. When the others weren't looking, she came in and gave me a reassuring smile. "I believe you," she said.

This great news made me happy and I replied with "Let's go find Sid's family and hope that they forgive me. They've been staying in room 251 at the Phil Proctor Hotel on Spec Lane." You kids might be wondering how I still remember that after all these years. It's because Sid said it to me like 50 times! It was really annoying.

"And what should we say to them when we get there?" my mother asked.

My mind went blank. How do you apologize to someone for trying to murder them? It seemed that the best option was to worry about figuring that out when we got there. That was probably the right thing to do anyway because everybody else was planning on hunting the Changs down. The sooner we left, the better. My mother and I snuck out the window and hopped on the glart.

That was a mistake.

I didn't remember that Adelaide and her dad worked on the glart until we had already gotten on and it was moving. If one of them came across us, it would be a good opportunity to start trying to work things out with them, but as soon as the idea crossed my mind, I began to have second thoughts. I just wasn't ready to deal with it, emotionally or mentally. "Mom, let's get off at the next stop and walk the rest of the way."  
"Why?"  
"Sid's sister and dad work here. I don't know what I wanna say to them yet, so we gotta avoid letting them see us."  
"Sid's sister was like 4 years old. She has a job?"  
"I thought it was weird at first too. But maybe she's actually a lot older than she looks. Aren't vampires immortal or something?"  
"That could be. But if that's the case, we shouldn't have to worry about the others killing them, right?"

Our conversation came to an end when I spotted the last person I wanted to see that day: Adelaide! Even worse, she was heading our way. Without thinking it through, I whispered, "Okay. There's the little sister. We need a sharp piece of wood. Quick, before she sees us."  
Out of surprise and confusion, my mother said "What are you talking about? I thought you said you wanted to apologize to them."

She was absolutely right. That's exactly what I wanted to do. But now, faced with one of them, all my distrust suddenly came rushing back. I considered that maybe it was just Sid I felt sorry for, not the whole family.  
But it wasn't fair to give her a chance but not the others. There was no good reason to assume the Changs were evil. The only one who had done anything evil was me, when I threw garlic at them.  
I had to make things right and now was as good a time as any. Or, at least, I would think it was for a few more seconds.

I got up from my seat and walked up to the young, innocent vampire girl. I held out my hand for a shake, but before I could even get a word out, she kicked me between the legs. I know I'm not a boy, but it still really hurt. She was surprisingly good at kicking. No wonder she grew up to become a famous football player. "Daddy! The mean human who tried to kill me is here!" she shouted, running to the front where her father was conducting.

Without hesitation, I started running away and your great grandma followed behind. Since we were on the glart, we couldn't leave yet. We had to wait until we reached a stop. We had no idea what Mr. Chang would do to us if he caught us, and since I was so spooked, I can't remember what happened very well.

We somehow managed to make it to the zoo.

The two of us walked around for a while, looking for Sid until I eventually found her. Even from a distance, I could tell how sad she still was about what had happened one day prior. I had so much time to prepare for this moment and yet I still wasn't sure what I wanted to say. I tried so hard to think of something, but everything that came to my mind seemed like it wouldn't get Sid to listen. If I were her, I wouldn't either.

It turned out I didn't actually need to think about it. When Sid caught sight of me, she dropped the bunion scraper she was using and cowered in fear while covering her face. I simply continued to stand in that spot. Since I didn't do anything like Sid had expected, she stared at me with confusion and slowly went back to scraping her foot.

"So...are...you...uhhh...?" she said.  
"I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna talk. I'm here to say I'm sorry about yesterday." The look on Sid's face when I said this was umm...different. It was one you couldn't possibly replicate correctly unless you felt the same emotions she did. It said that she was both happy and not sure if she believed me.  
"You two could use some privacy." my mom stated. "Allow me to use my mystic other-worldly powers to turn into a soundproof tent." I nodded in agreement, so she did it. Even if we hadn't needed the privacy, this was better because it would make Sid's skin stop sparkling. That was really distracting.  
Mom landed over me when she transformed, so I was already in the tent. I had to gesture my hand for Sid to come in and she said/ "Is that so there won't be any witnesses around?" Yeah, I should've thought the tent idea through more. But miraculously, she still gave me the time of day and came into the tent. She also ducked as she walked in despite being short enough to not need to. I never learned why. Maybe that didn't really happen and I'm just misremembering it.

At first we just stared at each other. It felt like forever, but was actually just a few seconds. Sid finally said, "I'm sorry I've been so clingy."  
"You're not the one who should be apologizing. What I did to you was far worse." I responded. "There are no words that can do justice to how truly sorry I am."  
"Thank you. That means a lot. I'm just not sure if I can...I don't know how long it'll be until...It's just that people always assume we vampires are just like how we're portrayed in the media. I thought you were gonna be the first one that didn't, so when you did...I..." This was when Sid broke down, sat on the ground, and started crying.  
I put my hand on her shoulder and said "Please don't cry. It'll be okay. What do you say we start over and pretend none of this ever happened?"  
"We can't. It's too late. I thought we had the Bond Phenomenon, but now I know that we clearly don't."  
"Wha...what's the Bond Phenomenon?"  
"It's this rare thing that means two people are destined to be BFFs even if it seems like they'd be completely incompatible. It's kinda like having a soul mate, but for friendship. I'd give you some examples, but I'm pretty sure you won't know what I'm talking about."  
"Try me."  
"Okay." Sid wiped a tear from her eye and stood back up. "Diancie & Celebi."  
I took a moment to think about it, but Sid was right, I didn't know who those were.  
"What about Mallow & Lana?"  
"I know someone named Lana, but you're probably talking about someone else."  
"Ash Ketchum & his Greninja?" I nodded my head to tell her we still weren't on the same page. "Monica and Rachel in high school?" That was new to me too. "There's also Helga & Phoebe from Hey Arnold!"  
"Now _that_ I've heard of. But maybe it's not too late for us to have this bond thing too. What made you think we had it?"  
"Isn't it obvious? You didn't immediately think of Toy Story when I first told you my name. I hate it when people do that and you're the first person to ever not, besides my parents and sister of course."  
"Well, then let's try again and see if we can still have the bond thing. No one's life should be ruined forever just because they did one bad thing one time. What do you say, new friend?" Sid wasn't sure about this at first, but she soon nodded in agreement.

We just stood under that tent smiling at each other for a while until we hugged.  
"A little kiss too?" Sid asked.  
"Don't push it." The smile didn't leave my face when I said this.  
"Fair enough."

Our hug ended there, but our chat continued. "Do you think we'll get to fuse together some day?" Sid wondered.  
"Is that a part of the Bond Phenomenon?"  
"It sure is. Well, I didn't word it exactly right, but yeah. You should've seen it when Diancie & Celebi did it."  
"So, what was with that bunion scraper you were using?"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"That thing you were scraping your foot with."  
"Oh, that? That's my musical instrument."

I was going to ask what she meant, but I didn't get the chance. I heard a voice I would instantly recognize anywhere shouting from nearby. "Signs should never tell people to pee on others!"  
"That's my cousin Carl." When I said this, my tone made it clear to Sid she should be frightened. "If he's here, I'll bet the others are too. I wasn't able to convince them that you're nothing to be afraid of. They're here for you and won't leave until you're dead!"  
"What do we do?!"  
"Let's try the peaceful option first. Here's the plan: We need hot dogs covered with snow, season 7 of The Simpsons on Blu-ray, and a retired fireman who's now a motivational speaker."

We had none of that at hand, so we had no choice but to fight. The brawl that ensued was the bloodiest, most violent, longest, and most exhausting experience of my entire life and it happened while it rained pencil sharpeners. I'd tell you more about it, but I don't wanna give you kids nightmares. I don't like reliving it anyway.

**The End**

Unlike before, I'm not kidding.


	6. Epilogue

"It shouldn't be much longer until we get to Minnesota. When we do, don't be surprised if we see a lot of vikings," said elderly Ronnie Anne. "I'm surprised you kids only interrupted my story one time. You're both such great listeners." She looked down and saw that both of her grandchildren were nowhere to be seen. "Oh my goodness gracious, where did they go?!"  
"They don't exist," said an old man sitting across from her. "You're not old enough to be a parent, let alone a grandparent. You're not even on any form of transportation right now. You're in the hospital."

* * *

Present day Ronnie Anne could hear a voice she heard far too often say "Look! Look! She's waking up! HOW MANY HOURS...has she been out?" She slowly opened her eyes and caught sight of Sid staring back at her.  
"Wha...what happened?" she asked, quickly realizing that she was in a hospital bed. When she looked to her right, she saw her brother Bobby, their mother Maria, and Bobby's girlfriend Lori were in beds beside her. "The last thing I remember is you woke me in the middle of the night and started beating me up for no reason."  
"I am so so so so so so so so so sorry!" pleaded Sid. "But it wasn't for no reason. I was trying to help. I thought you were possessed by a ghost. To make it up to you, I'll do anything you want. Anything! You name it. Your wish is my command. I..."  
"Please. Stop talking," replied Ronnie Anne. "Go get me a blue tea in a red bottle."  
"Blue tea, red bottle. Right away, buddy!" said Sid. "Blue tea, red bottle. Blue tea, red bottle. Blue tea, red..." she repeated to herself so she would remember it as she left the room.  
"What difference does it make what color the bottle is?" asked Lori.  
"It doesn't. I'm not even thirsty. I just said that so she'd leave and be gone for as long as possible. So, I know what happened to me. What about you guys? Why are you here too?"  
"It's a long story," Maria answered. "For now, I've got something to tell you I think you'll find more important. Sid made a new friend."

It took Ronnie Anne a second to figure out why this news would be important to her. But once she had wrapped her head around it, she was ecstatic. "That was exactly what I needed right now!"  
Not being familiar enough with Ronnie Anne and Sid's complicated relationship, Lori said "I'm literally lost. What's so great about Sid making a new friend? I thought you were gonna say that was **bad** news."  
"Because now the unholy parasite that is Sid Leah Chang will be out of my hair!"  
Shocked, Lori said "Wait. Do you not like her?" She didn't really think about the fact that you don't call someone an unholy parasite when you like them.  
"Not at all. She is the most annoying person I have ever met and she never leaves me alone."

"Here's the truth," said Maria. "Ronnie Anne has only been pretending to be friends with Sid. When the Changs first moved in, Sid took a liking to her really fast for some reason, which made her parents very happy because she had never had a friend before. Not wanting to ruin it, they talked Ronnie Anne into going along with it so Sid wouldn't be sad and possibly never try to make a friend again. Now that she's friends with someone else, maybe her parents won't make Ronnie Anne pretend to like her anymore."  
Lori's jaw dropped. "Wow. This is literally blowing my mind. I guess this means that story isn't true."  
"What story?" asked Ronnie Anne.  
"You were telling us one about you meeting Sid in your sleep," answered Bobby.  
"Oh. You guys heard_ that_ story. Did I keep talking to you like we were in the future and you were my grandkids?" Ronnie Anne asked, embarrassed.  
"Yeah. It was literally weird," said Lori. "But was any of it true? The Changs being from Forks, Washington?"  
"Yes," Bobby answered.  
Lori chose to start with one of the easy to accept things about the story. Now to ask about one of the weirder elements. "Sid and Adelaide having jobs even though they're kids?"  
"I tried telling their parents they shouldn't, but yes," explained Maria.  
Lori was starting to get too surprised by everything she was learning. She now wanted to hear something normal, so she decided to ask about something there was no way was true. "Them being vampires?"  
"Yeah, that's true too," Ronnie Anne answered.  
Lori expected her to say she was kidding any second now, but she never did. "Wait. What about your mom having the magic power to turn into a tent?"  
"No. That would be unbelievably stupid."

"So, if that's not how you two met, then how did you?" Lori asked.  
"A bunch of people came to look at the apartment and one guy asked Adelaide why her skin was sparkling," explained Ronnie Anne. "She said it's because she's a vampire and that scared everyone away."  
"That's it?"

They all went back to the apartment building later that day, including Lori, who had decided earlier that she wanted to move in. The first thing Ronnie Anne did when they got home was run up to the Changs' apartment and ask to speak to the parents in private. She told them all about Sid's new friend and begged them to let her out of their little agreement now that she was no longer needed. However, it turned out that the new friend was only 4 years old. Mr. and Mrs. Chang didn't want their daughter's only friend to be someone she's triple the age of, so they said Ronnie Anne had to keep up the ruse.

She was still in the deep hole of frustration and lack of solitude that she had been trapped in since the day anyone interested in the apartment was scared away by a family of vampires trying to get it. She didn't care what the Chang parents had to say. She was gonna tell Sid the truth anyway. She took out her phone and started typing a text message she had wanted to type out for months.

_"You and I, we are not friends! And never will be. I don't like you and I never did! You are the worst thing that has ever had anything to do with Great Lakes City. Remove yourself from my childhood and eiogneuiogza3qw90t5 3890tgnvf z3cvn3f gi0vi8z3w0v98 34n80gn409gnsw3490gn8ws34"_

"Sid, time to wake up," Sid's dad calmly said, confusing Ronnie Anne.

* * *

Six-year-old Sid woke up from her nap, catching sight of her parents looking down at her. "Mommy, Daddy, I think I just had a dream about the future. We were living in the big city and I was friends with a human."  
"Like that could ever happen," said Sid's pregnant mom.  
"But then she said she actually hated me, so I'm not sure which part was true."  
"Sid, it was just a dream," said her dad.  
"Yeah, you're probably right. In it, the new baby wasn't a boy. Doesn't that prove it was all fake?"

_**Watch The Casagrandes**_

_**October 14th**_

_**on Nick!**_


End file.
